I had a hellish pregnancy. No joke. It was slow and torturous. This is not a feeling, it’s a fact. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, anemia, sciatica, and hints of gestational diabetes. Every day was a cycle of excessive vomiting of food, bile, and on occasion even blood. I was miserable. I was the size of a van, even early on in my pregnancy, and it was as if the year had no seasons. I wore the same clothes and ate the same few foods I could manage to stomach. We hardly went out and hardly hosted. I was posted up in bed on most days past 4 pm while convincing my 3 year old that Daniel Tiger episode 35 was his best “wind down” option every day after pre-school for months.
Feeling about as fresh as a train wreck in the heat of summer with my bump and my boys.
It was trying to say the least. I recall one of my journal entries during this time detailing the glamor of it all.
“In just a matter of weeks my whole world is different. What once excited me and gave me energy are now things I’m tiring to finish and give energy to. I am not the patient mom my son needs. It all happened so fast. Now here I am with this nausea that is sucking the life out of me from the time I get up til I can fall asleep. I’m caught in a particular fatigued state today as Jericho woke up at 4:41 am, and refused to go back to sleep but whined until 7 am. I am trying hard to savor all of this but I had no idea how scary this would be. I’m not the wife my husbands need. He is managing everything while I can barely get myself ready in the morning. To think people love being pregnant. I am telling you right now, I feel like a pig on display at the fair, fat and bloated. Oh, and the idea of food is repulsive. It really is. I can’t wait til this season of life is all over. I know this is a mere season and it too will pass. Lord, help me to be life giving, obedient to what you’ve called me to. Right now I’m short tempered, nauseated, and can’t seem to catch up with my own life. Lord, help me.”
In addition to hyperemesis, which was the diagnosis of my nasty upchuck I also had swollen feet, legs, and hands. Towards the end of my pregnancy I had sciatica which brought limited mobility to my already debilitating state. My pregnancy was no bed of roses but there were a few things I did to survive.
1. Work with my OBGYN to find the right prescription that would take the edge off. I always felt like I was going to vomit, but some meds helped more than others. Don’t stop until you feel like you can actually operate. So many people would ask, “have you tried ginger tea?” or “have you tried smelling peppermint?” or my favorite, “did you try preggie pops?” FOR. THE. LOVE. That is sprinkling water on a blazing inferno when you have hyperemesis.
2. Have receptacles around the house. In an effort to keep the carpet free of stains I decided to have bowls scattered throughout our house, because often I couldn’t make it to the bathroom or kitchen or anywhere “appropriate” to chuck. My sweet little boy would offer his dump truck and unfortunately I took him up on it once, ok, maybe more than once.
3. Eat small amounts of food throughout the day. I hardly kept food down but when I did it was usually bites, not small meals but a few bites of a small meal. I attempted to eat throughout the day. I noshed on almonds, sometimes 3 or 4, praying they wouldn’t scrape my throat on the way back up. I was thinking as the pregnancy progressed it would be easier and easier to keep food down but that wasn’t the case.
4. Let myself off the hook. I wasn’t able to carry on as usual. With my work schedule and extra commitments I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. I dropped anything off the calendar that wasn’t a necessity. I was hoping to get some good quality time in with friends, some small trips, and even a baby moon. Due to sickness I wasn’t able to do much of anything.
Since surviving hyperemesis I have connected with others who have had it and those struggling. To you I see you and hope this can help. You are not alone.
