Since it’s birthday month (oh yes, I celebrate all month) I’ve decided to celebrate in as many ways as possible. I’ve made a point to sit face-to-face with as many women of my life as I can, and tell them what they mean to me and how they’ve shaped my life. It’s been a joy to share my heart and affection with them, and in return, I asked them to share the biggest lessons learned, their secrets, to loving life in the thirties.
I couldn’t keep all the goodies to myself and think we can all sit at the feet of other women and hear their stories, their pain, and their victory.
Jeremiah 6:16 encourages us, “stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”
While the thirties aren’t ancient we can learn from those who’ve gone before us and found the vibrant life Jesus offers.
One friend said, “say no to even good things to make room for the best things.”
I love that. We have one life, it only makes sense to leave room for what’s best. We can say yes to everything that is in front of us, every plate, every opportunity, every new thing, or we can take the road of the best, one that’s carved by wisdom and prayer. Wondering what the next best yes is? James 1 tells us, “if any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Another said, “be the person you say you are.”
With little eyes watching my every move I have no option but to be the woman I claim to be. If I’m claiming to be a person of peace, a person of trust, of honesty, I must go on ahead and be that person. There are two little boys who are watching what I’m saying and I have a feeling there are people watching your life, your words, and your actions. May they line up. May they bear fruit. This is a big one. Those who’ve chosen the way of Father God, the way of the truth, of light, must let the manner of their life be worthy of the gospel of Christ. (Phil 1:27)
One sweet friend said, “you don’t owe people explanations.”
Glennon Doyle Melton says, “learn to say no without explaining yourself.” I don’t know about you but I have a bad habit of always wanting to explain myself. You know what? We don’t have to. We don’t constantly have to explain why it might appear that we are too much or not enough. Seek Jesus and let your life be one that reflects him. Not everyone is privileged into the innermost part of your soul. This is your life. Stop apologizing for it.
In the same vein, another friend said, “be comfortable with the person you are, the body you have, the life you have.”
Be ok with who you are. Yes, there is room for growth but at the heart of it, be comfortable with the person you’ve become.” I love this. We are ever becoming the person God intended as we seek his heart. Let’s go ahead and be comfortable with our body, our hair, our smile, our teeth, our ankles, and every other inch. Be ok with those curves and edges. After having a baby my stomach looks like a road map of the continental U.S. Yet, here I am, more comfortable with my body than I’ve ever been. Our bodies, our seasons, they are what they are. Let’s enjoy them. Let’s not spend our days wishing for a life we don’t have. Psalm 146:2 reads, “I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.” May it be so. May we praise him for his love and grace with our all of our being, with all of our heart, no matter our season or body type.
A friend who was no stranger to pain advised, “lean into disappointment. See what it has to teach you.”
Truer words have never been spoken. C.S. Lewis said, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” I believe this. I believe there are treasures only found in darkness, only found deep within when we accept that suffering has found us. May your pain point to the need for Jesus. May you not despise the affliction life, but let it shape you, mold you. Psalm 34:18 promises, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is near in our pain. He saves us from destruction.
Another beautiful friend said, “don’t listen to shame.”
Shame is a liar, a deceiver and can whisper the worst of you when God longs for you to live with the best of him. Shame has no place for the woman of faith, the woman who knows her worth yet is still tripped up by the sneaky ways of shame. May we not live from a place of shame, lead our families with shame, shame our children or our friends, our co-workers, and those we long for the gospel to transform. 1 John 4:1 reminds us, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.” The Father is not one to heap shame on you. He doesn’t roll like that. Let’s call out shame for what it is, starve it, and carry on.
There were so many others who weighed in on what they learned in their thirties but these 6 were themes that really stuck out.
Let me hear it from you! What have you learned in your thirties?
Oh, and have you downloaded 13 Things Every Christian Woman Should Be Doing by 35?
Want more like this? Check out Hello: 30, It’s a Pleasure To Meet You or Dear 28.