I’m falling in love, again. Not with pumpkin pie flavored mochi, or with the rain beating against my window, although I’m a fan of the rain, but this time with my son, again.
I remember the first time we met, he was terrified, he searched my face for familiarity and came up short. His heart ached for home, to be loved, to be known. As time went on he began to see me as a source of provision not just for food and water, but for love, comfort, and a place to weep. In the early days I would lay next to him and wipe his tears. He would push me away and then snuggle on my lap. A bond was born and it was born out of loss, a need to survive. It’s been messy, hard, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It has been one of the greatest and most humbling honors of my life to be mama to this little soul.
In the past few months something has happened. We’ve come so far and I’m falling in love again. His bright life drips with joy, peace, and bravery. I love it. The way he loves his brother, the way he loves his teachers, his friends, and the way he loves us, its so beautiful. After both kids are asleep I often find myself in awe that Jesus would give me this. No little girl dreaming of a family when she grows up realizes just how sweet it can be. It’s not without sacrifice, its not without tears, but its remarkable what love can do. Love can repair the broken parts of us that appear beyond fixing. Love can can move us from surviving to thriving. Love can make a family. Love can, love will.
Have you read about how I met my adopted son for the first time? You’ll want to check that out. Or maybe you’ll like how I’ve navigated biological birth and adoption.
