Mother’s Day forces mothers everywhere to check their gut on how they parent and their journey to motherhood. I am no different. I woke up on Sunday morning reflecting on what makes me a mama to my boys. In August of 2011, we had no idea the adventure that awaited us, the promise of a son.
We lost Derek: our first adoption referral who was deemed unadoptable after a year in the adoption process.
We lost Lucius: the most gruesome loss my heart has ever known/second adoption referral that fell through after living with us for 3 months
We fought hard for Jericho: trauma and rage consumed him in the beginning but by grace upon grace he experiences love and joy and still a long journey ahead
We were given Kingston: my first biological child and first blood relative that I’ve ever met
My road to be a mother has been one filled with tears, prayers, hope, loss, grief, struggle, battle, and sickness. Yet here I am. Most mothers will tell you they never knew how strong they were until they had kids. I totally get that. I had no idea I had the gumption and courage that I do until love for my children pulled it out of me. In that, they have given me a rare gift that I am so thankful for. The battles are different these days as Jericho is now four and Kingston is six months. but they are mine to fight. I was destined for this. More than anything I want them to know they are loved, accepted, celebrated, encouraged, and brave.
Motherhood is a mystery. Each experience so different than another. Each complete with heartache, struggle, and triumph. Yet each demand strength, grace, freedom, and LOVE. Love always wins in the end. No matter what. Every time. Love always wins.